Fairy Tales Do Come True!!

Lucky little girls are raised believing they are princesses, that they will be loved by a handsome prince (who will come for them on a prancing white stallion) and that they will live happily ever after.  Yesterday the world watched as this fairy tale came true for Kate Middleton.  As a former member of the princess to be club, I was glued to the TV, totally engrossed in the pomp and pageantry, the beautiful bride, the handsome prince, the absolute glory of it all.  Tears of joy ran down my face as one lucky little girl saw the promises of childhood come true.

For the majority of us, we've had to work hard for the considerably downsized palace of our dreams, we've searched and hopefully found a prince who loves us and the white stallion, well, many former members of the princess to be club refused to let go of that dream and enjoy the companionship of horses throughout their lives. We're happy with the way our lives turned out, but for one shining moment in time, the memories of fairy tales long in the past rose up in us and as one, we stood up and cheered as our dreams came true for Kate.

What Is The Measurement of Success?

In the internet age, we can find just about anything or anyone we choose to search for.  The limits are about endless.  On CBS' Sunday Morning show today, they did a piece on how you don't even have to go to church anymore, apparently...there's an app for that now.  Who knew?

Have you ever searched for someone you knew in childhood and came away amazed with how their life turned out?  I searched this morning for someone I went to 8th grade with in Ft. Leavenworth, KS.  We were both army brats, my father was attending Officer Training School there in 72-73.  Both our fathers were attorneys in the Judge Advocate General's Office of the Army.  I remember her as a sweet and outgoing girl who was always smiling and full of life.  As those were the days prior to the internet and email, we never saw or spoke again after that year we spent abutting up against the fences of the Ft Leavenworth Federal Prison.

Her name popped into my head this morning and I decided to see what if anything was out there about her.  I was pleasantly surprised to see how successful she became.  While I am happy for her, it made me look at my life.  While my life can never compare to her successes, did I have any success at all?  Well....I've worked for the same company for 24 years.  I've been a hard worker and have been able to support my family....ok....I guess that's a success.  I had two beautiful daughters.  While I was certainly not the perfect mother, they have both been loved since the minute they were born. Being able to love your children is a success as it seems, based upon news reports, that some seem to struggle with loving and putting their children first.   I hope my girls have learned from me that there is nothing more precious or important in life than loving your children.  If they learned that, perhaps I was successful as a mother.  I've loved my animals well too.  My four little doggies will be happy to tell you that, well...if they could speak!

No...I don't think my life can in anyway compare with how my 8th grade friend's turned out, but I'm happy with my life and maybe that in itself is the biggest success anyone can claim?

Love Grows Here!!

We have a circular driveway.  In the middle is a grassy area that's flanked by huge lilac bushes at each end.  It's always just been another spot to mow, but I've always wanted to put "something" in the middle of that grass.  I imagined a fountain or maybe a pond with water plants and fish.  I didn't know how to build either though and the thought of building one intimidated me.  I knew a water line would be required, electric too for the lights I envisioned surrounding the water.  So, I did nothing except mow the area.  In 2010, my father who lives in Virginia Beach, VA was deemed incapable of living alone any longer and was put into an assisted living facility. A social service agency was court appointed as his guardian.  To support his future expenses, they decided that his house needed to be sold.  We were given one chance to get what we wanted from his property before it was put up for sale.  Bobby and went down in February to meet the realtor to gain access to the house.  We got there a little early and when the realtor arrived, he found us happily digging in my dad's yard.  We loaded up river rock, bird baths and planters and brought them all home to WV.  I now had the beginnings of a flower garden in the middle of the driveway!!  Creating the garden was a family effort.  Bobby helped with leveling the area, determining the proper spacing for the rocks, lugging home 800lbs of dirt and keeping the designer (me) in coffee and water.  Thank you Bobby for being there and for all your help! Bethany and I went to Lowes to pick out flowers and found a couple of cute garden flags too.  Thank you Bethany for your patience as I looked and looked for the "perfect" blooms!!  Bethany and I planted all the flowers and tucked them in under a layer of mulch.  My dad loved to garden and I think he would be so happy that his garden didn't get leveled in Virginia Beach, but instead created so much beauty here in WV.

The finished garden!!

Love Grows Here!

 I love this old frog planter.  He's guarding the bird bath so the birds feel safe!

This heron is watching from the lilac bush in case fish ever do show up!

These flowers don't even look real!!

Life is Good!!

It was beat up, neglected, held together with bungee cords, clomping around on one good tire.  Sometimes, it would cough to life for a brief time, but you couldn't dare turn it off as it was extremely doubtful it would start again.  We had a love/hate relationship.  The spring rains would come, the grass would grow high and my thoughts would turn to mowing.  I would stress over whether the dern tractor would start and if it did, would it keep running long enough to get anything done?  It wasn't the tractor's fault, it was just a machine, a machine that was neglected to the point it just gradually fell apart, but I felt that it constantly let me down.  Finally, after years of dreading the advent of "grass season", I finally broke down and bought a new lawn tractor.  Ohhhh....the bliss of it.  It starts, it stops and it actually starts again!  Oh myyy!!  And....it mows beautifully.  No missed spots, no uneven patches, no making hay in the front yard!  I surveyed the newly mown front yard and...danced....yes I danced as it was so smooth and so beautiful and yes, stress free.  Ahhhh...the relief!!

I planted some flower seeds in a barrel just off our front porch this week.  I wandered away for a moment to admire how our new flower garden is doing (it's beautiful!).  When I started back towards the porch....there was Bethany's cat Pookie Bear...in the barrel.....Oh Pookie....no, No, NOOOOO!!!  Not on my new flower seeds!!!!  We have about 10 acres here, why oh why did you choose There to do your business???  I know, I know....the fresh, soft dirt was irresistible, but Really!!!

It's Finally Friday!!  The week has been wished away and the weekend is about here.  Those of you out there who don't know what you want to be when you grow up, please try to find a job you love and enjoy going to each and every day.  The majority of our time is spent at work and as such, it should be somewhere you actually want to be.  Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.  ~Confucius  Have a wonderful weekend.  Plant some flowers, hug your loved ones, do something enjoyable because Monday will be here way too soon!

Quit Looking At Me....

It starts with just the slightest glance out of the corner of an eye, first one, then the other, then just as quickly, their eyes dart away, looking at anything but each other.  They stumble along their new path, together, but not, very separate even though the path is narrow and their arms about touch. Trees along each side of the path crowd and push them together, but they aren't yet ready, the wall between them, unseen, is too thick.  The wind has nothing to say now and has gone off to play elsewhere.  The forest is too dense to glimpse any flowers, any beauty at all.  Infinite darkness surrounds them, they are blind, but must continue lurching forward, as going back to the beautiful meadow, is not an option.  One stumbles, the other, involuntarily, reaches out, but is burned and jumps back.  In the midst of the inky blackness, sparks fly as the two rage.  On and on they tear at each other, banging heads against trees, the ground, each other.  Exhausted, their mighty hearts, slashed into bits, lie upon the memory of what could of been..  Unable to come together to accept their new path and move forward, they turn their backs to each other and mourn alone. 

I'm trying.....

One of the hardest things to deal with is when one you love is hurting.  You want to help, you want to soothe, you want to wave that magic wand and make everything ok.  Every cell in your body yearns to take the pain away and make it all better.  You offer words of wisdom hoping that your chosen string of words will do the trick.  You offer support so the one hurting will know they aren't alone in their troubles, that you'll be there for them, no matter what.  You try to be funny hoping to raise just one little smile.  You try to be positive hoping they will see that it's not all gloom & doom.  You try until you can't think of anything else to try and then you try again.  Ultimately, though, you realize that along the way, the magic wand has been broken, the crystal ball is cracked and the hugs and kisses that once soothed every bump and bruise, mended broken hearts and made the boogie monster run away screaming in terror, aren't enough anymore.  You take a deep breath, stiffen your spine and........

You Try Again!!!

An Abrupt Change

My daughter posted the following quote: 

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

When you've had your focus on certain goals and you've worked as hard as you can to accomplish them,  pain & turmoil can accompany an abrupt and sudden change in direction.  Initially, one tries to hold onto the old with all their might, not even risking a quick glance at the new.  At first, the new is just too new, way too different to even consider.  Feet are firmly and definitively planted in support of the old.  Unable to bend and consider the new, crying for what has been lost is normal and natural.  Afterall, letting go of the old feels like the death of all that work, all those plans, all that was supposed to be.  Grief now takes star billing.  Denial steps between the curtains to make it's debut accompanied by loud vehement shouts of No and Not Me.  Anger isn't far behind with it's friends, Temper and Tantrum.  Bargaining sneaks on stage with it's attempts to save what was, throwing out ideas like flower petals drifting upon the wind.  Depression lies alone at the very corner of the stage, unable to even raise it's head.  Acceptance, well, Acceptance patiently waits for it's cue offstage, not knowing when it will be able to grab the spotlight.  This particular play has no set run time, these characters set their own pace. The audience settles in to wait, to give each of them their due. Acceptance must wait patiently for those before it to take their bows before it is able to take center stage.

The Wind Is Silent Now

Thunder crashed and lightening flashed.  The blooms tucked their delicate heads, leaving their tender necks exposed.  The wind, louder and louder, it's terrible power screeching out warnings, now adds leaves, twigs and dust to the cast, beating the two, demanding to be heard.  The wind begins to laugh, the clouds skitter and fly across the sky in their gaiety, the lightening and thunder boom out their mirth displaying their true nature.  The precious petals blacken, wither and fall.  The two, startled, awaken, are suddenly and without warning, shaken violently from their bliss.  The meadow, once so beautiful to the eye, so glorious to the heart, reverts to what it ever was.  Unseen, hidden beneath the beauty, it's true face is revealed to the two.  As before in time, as ever has been and ever will be, the exhilarating beauty is stripped away, once again only a facade, hiding the truth of this place.  The two, confused and conflicted, spin away from each other, grasping for understanding, gasping in shock, reeling with disbelief.  How can this be, they ask each other? Why us?  They demand an answer from the wind, but the wind, having tried so desperately to convey it's warnings, is silent now refusing to answer.  She screams to the sky.....But I was marching along my path, purposely and with conviction, (she adds), forgetting her decision to rest in the beautiful meadow for only the briefest of moments, forgetting that detour that lured her away from her march.  Forgetting.....the beauty they experienced, the joy they created, now focused solely on regret and shame.  Heads down, shoulders slumped, sniffling, they shuffle slowly down the new path before them. 

It's Getting Windy Out There....

I remember her at age 5....bubbly, blonde, always babbling.  She adored her mother and I treasured her.

I remember her in elementary school....bright, curious, always wanting to learn more.  She looked to me for answers and I tried to keep up with her ever expanding brain.

I remember her excitedly coming home from the first day of school and every day thereafter with stories to tell about her day.  From the very  minute she got there to the bus ride home she absorbed it all like the little sponge she was, always eager to share each of those moments with me.  She delighted me, enchanted me, filled me with joy that God had blessed me with her very existence. 

I remember her in my heart...the love, the bond we always shared to the exclusion of anyone else, my pride in her accomplishments, looking towards the future and knowing that it was wide open to anything she reached for, anything she desired, anything at all.  

Sometimes, while skipping down that yellow brick road, a choice must be made.   Whether it's a conscious decision or not, a choice is made to take the scenic route instead of the path that's been thought and dreamed about for years.  Sometimes.....that's just what happens in life.  The bubbly little girl takes a few wrong turns, maybe gets lost in the brambles, weeds and overgrown forest and eventually, thankfully, is found again.  As she once again purposefully marches down the chosen path towards her goals, dreams and her bright, bright future, out of the corner of her eye, she glimpses a flower filled meadow and decides to take just a minute, only the briefest of moments to lie down to rest amidst the blooms.  As the sun shines brightly. gentle breezes soothing her soul, the flowers' glorious scents intermingle bringing joy that begs to be shared with another.  As they romp and play within their private playground, they fail to see the first little black rain cloud heading their way, ignore the quickening of the wind, it's voice engulfing them, swirling amongst them....trying and ever trying to warn them of the coming storm.