Pebbles, dirt, twigs and unknown things glint for a moment in the sun before drifting down, down, down into the darkness surrounding me. Weakened, I barely notice, can no longer move my head. A bit more debris goes unnoticed amongst the rest. Eyes dimming as pain hammers relentlessly. adamantly pounding, ferociously, frenziedly tearing into the remains of what once glittered, sparkling with radiance.
A fall day balloon floats through quickly, no strength, can't hold on, gone.
Darkness.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Is that you, Clarence?
Words shot, scalding hot
Wounds with no blood appear
I sometimes question my faith, wondering if God truly does exist or is just a lovely story passed down from our ancestors meant to soothe during thunderstorms, help during bad times, cry out to when we have no one else willing to listen. I wasn't thinking of God this morning when the darkness descended upon my home, I wasn't thinking of anything of importance, really. Waiting to hear from the transporter on whether my new mini mare would be delivered today or tomorrow, watching a little of Sunday Morning on TV, checking FaceBook to see if the world had survived another night and if my friends were ok. Nothing really, sipping my coffee, just enjoying my Sunday morning.
I often think of Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ when normal gets swept away by tornado force winds, when your hair begins to slap you in the face, when you wonder which is up, where is down. Unexpected, abrupt, nowhere in my cards scalding hot words stab, then pierce the soul of me. You've all heard the saying that once hurtful words are out there, there is no bringing them back, right? The other part, often left unsaid, is that the target often cannot forget those words. Yes, forgiveness will come, but forgetting, sorry, just won't happen!
Anyway, we were talking about God. Eager for a quick escape, I limped from the site of the battle, convinced that doing errands would be safer. We weren't quite ready for the full grocery run to Walmart, so went to the Dollar Store to pick up milk and cereal. An older gentleman was speaking to the cashier when I was ready to check out. The gentleman pulled his truck over as I was loading my car and asked if I wanted some corn on the cob. My first response was, no thanks, I have no cash. I normally use my card for purchases and rarely have cash in my wallet. The man shook his head and smiled at me, telling me there was no charge. He got out of his truck and started filling a grocery bag with corn and then asked if I wanted the tomatoes too. I'm guessing his name was Clarence, but will probably never know. I believe with all my heart and my pierced soul that he was an angel. His goodness, sharing and light while not wanting a thing at all from me, convinced me that God, seeing my pain, sent down one of his angels to comfort me. Now, you can believe what you want. Yep.....maybe he was just a good man who had a bountiful garden this year and just couldn't eat one more ear of corn, maybe God had nothing to do with it at all. I believe that at that time in that parking lot, God wrapped his goodness around me in the form of a man with too much corn on his hands.
My lunch today was two ears of that hot delicious corn dripping in butter.
Wounds with no blood appear
I sometimes question my faith, wondering if God truly does exist or is just a lovely story passed down from our ancestors meant to soothe during thunderstorms, help during bad times, cry out to when we have no one else willing to listen. I wasn't thinking of God this morning when the darkness descended upon my home, I wasn't thinking of anything of importance, really. Waiting to hear from the transporter on whether my new mini mare would be delivered today or tomorrow, watching a little of Sunday Morning on TV, checking FaceBook to see if the world had survived another night and if my friends were ok. Nothing really, sipping my coffee, just enjoying my Sunday morning.
I often think of Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ when normal gets swept away by tornado force winds, when your hair begins to slap you in the face, when you wonder which is up, where is down. Unexpected, abrupt, nowhere in my cards scalding hot words stab, then pierce the soul of me. You've all heard the saying that once hurtful words are out there, there is no bringing them back, right? The other part, often left unsaid, is that the target often cannot forget those words. Yes, forgiveness will come, but forgetting, sorry, just won't happen!
Anyway, we were talking about God. Eager for a quick escape, I limped from the site of the battle, convinced that doing errands would be safer. We weren't quite ready for the full grocery run to Walmart, so went to the Dollar Store to pick up milk and cereal. An older gentleman was speaking to the cashier when I was ready to check out. The gentleman pulled his truck over as I was loading my car and asked if I wanted some corn on the cob. My first response was, no thanks, I have no cash. I normally use my card for purchases and rarely have cash in my wallet. The man shook his head and smiled at me, telling me there was no charge. He got out of his truck and started filling a grocery bag with corn and then asked if I wanted the tomatoes too. I'm guessing his name was Clarence, but will probably never know. I believe with all my heart and my pierced soul that he was an angel. His goodness, sharing and light while not wanting a thing at all from me, convinced me that God, seeing my pain, sent down one of his angels to comfort me. Now, you can believe what you want. Yep.....maybe he was just a good man who had a bountiful garden this year and just couldn't eat one more ear of corn, maybe God had nothing to do with it at all. I believe that at that time in that parking lot, God wrapped his goodness around me in the form of a man with too much corn on his hands.
My lunch today was two ears of that hot delicious corn dripping in butter.
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